Reflecting on My Volunteer Experience in Mendoza: A Solo Journey of Self-Discovery

As I walked to my new hostel from the bus station after a long 31-hour bus drive, I came full circle with myself about my time volunteering in Mendoza the month prior.

Nervous for 31 hours on a bus, I downloaded tons of music and movies, yet without a doubt 85% of my time was spent looking out the window, processing what had just happened in Mendoza: I was forced to stop (being on a bus) but voluntarily gave into the opportunity to pause. I didn’t know how badly I needed those hours to sit and process the past two months. I would never give myself that much time to sit and do nothing but I had to and right when the bus took off, I knew this was what I needed.

I was staring outside the snowy window feeling all the emotions I tried to push away the past two months. Typically, as human as I am, I fight emotions that make me uncomfortable but I knew my ass was going nowhere so sitting with them was quite astonishing and profound. It was incredibly relaxing because the more I saw where I was hurting the more I could send it love: pure Chelsey Grace love.

Reflecting and noticing the toll Mendoza took on me was not easy. With all the love and fun I experienced, I also realized that I was attempting to fit myself into a community when perhaps the community didn't have authentic energy.

In general, whenever we start to mold into something that doesn't resonate with our truth, it means we are changing ourselves to fit in. This is something I am learning to work with and work through. Undoubtedly, as human beings, fitting in feels essential to living an enjoyable life.

In this so(u)lo journal, it is often forgotten that everything I am doing, internally and externally, is for ME. It's on my clock, with my own money, fulfilling my desires and wishes every single day.

The reason I felt so much pain when I left Mendoza was because there was a part of my heart I turned off to fit in and didn't understand how to turn back on. I felt lost. I felt like I acted in ways that I regret. I got involved with people I regret.

So when I left, I was so confused about my emotions and presence because there was a slight part of me that was turned off. I was working in a very chill hostel that I love so deeply but I felt there were times I absorbed an energy that did not belong to me. I was running for instant gratification from the others around me as their attention and validation were important to me and fitting in.

As I rode the bus, memories from Mendoza flooded my mind—moments where I felt uneasy, where I noticed red flags in others that I chose to ignore.

Every time we bypass opportunities where we know we deserve maybe even a tiny bit more, the stronger energy we attract and manifest. Embracing our true worth is key; it allows us to radiate brighter. Not everything that crosses our path is meant for us; life's encounters aren't mere coincidences. Each person we encounter may not hold a lesson or a message for us; sometimes, it's about staying true to our own path.

There's a profound lesson in staying in our lane during this journey. Some karmic doors are best left closed, while moments of true magic find us when we are authentic to ourselves. When we act from our deepest authenticity, little can go awry.

When I think of Mendoza, I think of fun. It was filled with enjoyable moments and new memories where I discovered a lot about myself and my surroundings. I wouldn't change a single thing about my time there. Moving forward, I have set a new goal for myself: to be the most authentic presence in any room, to shine so brightly that my presence is felt even before I enter.

Ready to embrace your journey of self-discovery? Share your own experiences and reflections in the comments below. Let's inspire each other to live authentically and grow together!

Xoxo,

Chelsey