I Don’t Feel Death is the End: Embracing Life & Coping With Grief

While coping with grief and simultaneously embracing life, a question we ponder: is death the end? I don’t feel death is the end. I don’t believe death is the end either. I see death in this beautiful light, allowing the soul to expand, transform, and go to wherever we came from.

When one is about to cross over, they often speak about seeing their loved ones who passed away prior. I believe the closer one gets to concluding their human experience, the veil between dimensions thins, and they are met with the loved ones who have gone before them. I call this the metamorphosis stage. I don’t see death as a lonely or scary process for the one crossing over. I don’t believe when we leave this earth we are done forever although death and birth are the ultimate transformations.

I don’t believe this is my first lifetime here either.

Coping with grief is hard and dark, and also one of the most beautiful transformations in life. The pain, the guilt, the shock, the disappointment — it can literally eat you alive if time and space aren’t properly taken.

When I lost my boyfriend in 2020 to suicide, the healing process was both dark and beautiful, providing me with the time and space to begin anew. It felt like an opportunity to delve deeply into self-reflection and personal transformation. At just 19 years old, I consciously shed all preconceived notions of my identity and disregarded external expectations, allowing myself to redefine life on my own terms. In this process, I sought peace and self-discovery, aiming to manifest the utopia I envision for both myself and the world.

Grief manifests not only from the end of life itself but also in various other forms—such as relocating, breakups, the loss of routines, friendships concluding, or simply the transitions of growing up.

I want to share some things that helped me heal. Just remember, you can't speed up the process of grieving, or time, but you can find activities that that joy to your heart.

1. Writing — literally saved my life, pouring my heart on the page, and creating an intimate relationship with myself that does not need to be explained to anybody. Write them letters that nobody will read to get things off your chest!

2. Good and safe company — be around people where you can show up 100% yourself. The good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful parts of yourself can't be afraid to show, especially during a time like this. There is nothing more detrimental to the healing process than being in a toxic environment where you can't be yourself or take space.

3. Baths — it’s a good way to calm the nervous system and bath bombs are so much fun. Hellooooo shopping spree to Lush! My mom would sit in the bathroom with me and read “Signs” by Laura Lynn Jackson—an inspiring and eye-opening book that solidified my opinions on the afterlife and what death means.

4. Boxing — another lifesaver. The grief I experienced filled me with rage and confusion. Boxing helped me release anger and sadness in my own way. Just becasue they passed away doesnt mean you aren't allowed to get angry at them.

5. Eating healthy — healing takes a lot of energy! I almost saw it in a way similar to being “under the weather." R&R are the golden ticket.

6. Look at photos, re-play memories, read old texts, etc— There is no reason to make yourself move on quicker than you need to. Just becuase the one's around you resumed their life doesn't mean you are ready too. Taking a trip down memory lane while grieving is key to embracing all the emotions. Let the pain infiltrate your life because hurting doesn't last forever.

7. Meditating and stillness  go hand in hand—do  whatever feels good at that moment with an awareness of your breath! At the end of the day to stay alive all we need to do is breathe! It's okay to be quiet for some time. For me, lower-level volumes were important. Loud spaces and music, a lot of voices, and big crowds...I couldn't handle it. But don't worry, this is temporary.

8. Creativity — use your god-like hands to create! Scrapbook, paint, make playlists, sew a comfy scarf, etc!

Everything feels different to everyone. Find your rhythm. Life doesnt get easy but you merely get stronger. Don't forget that.

To my boy who is always watching down on me, I love you, Charles.

Xoxo,

Chelsey